Dear Kayde, You’re A Big Boy Now

Dear Kayde,

I’m a huge slacker.

A lot changes in a very short amount of time. But for some reason I never feel that I have anything significant to write.

You are now two years, two months, and twenty-two days old. Weird, and completely unintentional. You’re a genius, but we’ve known this since the day you were born. You go to sleep in your own bed now, in your own room, like a big boy. Most early mornings you come crawling back into my bed, which is okay with me. I’m proud of you for sleeping by yourself for most of the night. You brush your teeth before bed, grab your blankie, binky, and cup, and walk into your room. You’re never very happy about it, as you’re usually whining or crying. But you do it, and that is what’s important.

You still see Daddy the same amount of time, between six and eight days a month. And Daddy pays child support finally, after signing an agreement giving me sole physical custody of you. Now we’re just waiting for the date of our hearing to finalize our divorce.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to get a court order stating that I can take you out of state, so we can move to Austin in about a year. Daddy won’t agree to it, so I’m desperately hoping it will still work out. Otherwise we’re stuck here. I hate it here. And Craig isn’t here. And there are so many better opportunities for us in Austin. I wish Daddy would stop being selfish and think about what’s best for you. I would never keep you from him, you’d still see him just as much.

We’re still living with Bammy and Ampa. It definitely isn’t my favorite place to be, but I do appreciate the opportunity to live comfortably while also saving money for our future. I have a job interview tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll be working a “real” job soon, as well as continuing school in the Fall. I’m trying really hard to not let my anxieties control my life. And I’ll do anything to give you the life you deserve.

I love you so much, Chickaletta.

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New Etsy Shop!

Hey All!

I’ve decided to finally open up an Etsy shop!

CLICK HERE!!!

There’s not much going on over there right now, but I’m hoping to have a mix of different things up soon.

The plan is for it to be mostly party related items such as invitations, decor, and instant downloads. Then I’ll be adding some cute graphic onesies and such!

I’m hoping this will help me save up some funds to put toward the big move that will hopefully be happening!

Check it out and follow my shop to stay updated, maybe I’ll have some things in there soon that’ll peak your interest!

I’m a single, stay-at-home mom.

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Yes, that’s right. I’m a single mother and I don’t have a job.

Doesn’t make sense, right?! I’m sure you have many questions, or maybe you don’t have any.

I’m a full-time mother. I have my son five days a week, which equals out to be precisely 71% of the time.

But I’m consciously aware of where he is and who he’s with 100% of the time.

Sure, I could get a part-time weekend job. And I’m planning to. But here’s how it really is:

1. I don’t sit around all day, and I’m not jobless because I’m lazy.

I mean, I’m probably a bit lazy. But who isn’t? I sure as hell don’t just sit around all day without a job because I just don’t feeeel like working. Trust me, I hate working. Or at least I did about two years ago when I last had a “real” job. But sometimes I feel as though working and leaving my son with someone else would be a break for me. “But you get two days off every weekend!” you exclaim. It’s true, I do. But I still make sure I know where Kayde is and who he’s with. A mother’s job is never done, blah blah blah. Sad, but true. And working isn’t the best thing for me right now. Yes, I need more money. But we’re not suffering because of it. Kayde has more than any child would ever need, and he has the best of it all. I find ways to make things work and make ends meet. Besides, if I had a job, I’d just be spending that money on some stranger watching my kid. No thanks.

2. I don’t get to sleep in.

At least not every day. Occasionally, Kayde will snuggle me until almost noon. But that comes with a price; he was probably up every half hour with respiratory issues the night preceding. He also doesn’t go to bed until he chooses (the perks of sharing a room with your mom for the time being), which sometimes means 11pm. This means I don’t go to bed until at least 11pm.

3. I don’t get to shower regularly.

I’m lucky if I get more than four showers in a week. Yes, more than just showering every other day. For example, this week I’ve taken two so far. I know, I’m gross. But when you have no one to watch your child, and he doesn’t go to bed until almost midnight, that’s really your only chance to shower. What’s worse, is that he can sense when I’m not there while he’s asleep, so I have about fifteen minutes before he cries and doesn’t stop until I snuggle him. I’m not capable of fifteen minute showers.

4. I change every diaper, give every bath, and wake up every time.

Besides the one or two days that he spends at his father’s house, I am responsible for everything. That means every morning poop is mine to clean, every bath is mine to give and clean up after, and every time he wakes during the night, I have to wake up as well.

5. He is not my only responsibility.

Not only do I have to be consciously aware of Kayde every second of every day and tend to his every need, but I also have other things to accomplish at the same time. I take college courses online. I somehow manage to do very well in school, while being beat in the leg with a wooden train track. I do the laundry, and the dishes, and clean everything else, while Kayde is behind me making messes. I cook dinner and bake cakes, while Kayde insists he needs to be held every moment that I’m in the kitchen. Not to mention running errands and watching friends’ toddlers.

6. It’s lonely.

Even though I always have Kayde around, I still get lonely. 90% of my conversations are with an almost-two-year-old. The topics and vocabulary are very limited. Sometimes I want a job just so I can have more social interactions with anyone older than twelve. And at the end of the day, when Kayde finally passes out, I have no one to talk to. No one to share my daily experiences with, or share the tasks that come along with caring for a toddler. It’s exhausting, and I’m alone.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Kayde. He is the very best part of me. I wouldn’t change the fact that I have him, and I don’t regret a thing. But it’s not easy, whether you’re with your child’s father or a single mother, whether you work full-time, part-time, or not at all. Raising a child is tough.

Dear Kayde, I’m Sorry I Don’t Write

Dear Kayde,

I haven’t written directly to you in nearly a year. I’m deeply sorry for that.

It’s been a busy year, so much has changed. You and I (mostly me) are in a transitional period in our lives. We moved out of Daddy’s condo and into Grammy’s house. Grammy got kicked out, which meant we got kicked out as well, after only two months. We had nowhere else to go but Auntie Kim and Uncle Pete’s dinky apartment. It didn’t go so well there.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t absolutely horrible, but it was bad enough. I didn’t pay rent, which meant I was obligated to babysit whenever asked, as well as buy 90% of the groceries for everyone in the house (six people). That was the manageable part of the whole experience. Auntie Kim was a crabby lady, and her and Uncle Pete fought quite often. You and Charlotte also fought, but even more often. Charlotte is a biter and a hitter, so you experienced the brunt of that. This made for a crabby Kayde, which made for a sad and frustrated Mommy. We were both crabby and miserable. I was desperate to get us out of there.

After about five months of suffering, Grammy found a new boyfriend, Mike (Grampy). She was planning on moving in with him and invited us to go with her. That’s where we live currently. We have the entire finished basement, which provides more than enough room for us, as well as our own full bathroom. We’re both so much happier. You behave so well, now that you only see Charlotte three days a week.

So that’s a summary of our living situations for the past nine months.

A few other things have changed as well.

Mommy has been seeing this guy, Craig, for about six months now. You love him. Like, absolutely love him. He’s good to you, and he’s good to Mommy. But he’s supposed to be leaving on Tuesday. This was inevitable, as he lives in Texas. It was really just a matter of when. Mommy has mixed feelings about this. I’m sad, because I know I’ll miss him, and it’ll be strange going from sleeping in the same bed as him every night, to him not being there at all. But I feel this is an important thing, because for now we are at a stand still. Have been for the entirety of our unofficial relationship. This will determine what will really happen with us.

Also, Mommy is bored. I spend all my hours, Monday through Friday, with you. And that’s not a complaint, I love it. But as the weekends approach, I get sad and lonely, even with Craig around. I never see my friends anymore. I know I’m a mother, but I’m still young. When you’re at Daddy’s for two nights, I should be going out and enjoying myself. So that’s what I’m going to try to do once Craig leaves.

I think I deserve it. I mean, I take care of you almost entirely by myself, and I think I do a decent job. I also started school at MWCC in January, and I’m doing really well. My classes are online, because I still don’t drive (working on it) and have you all the time. But I’m motivated to get a degree in Graphic Design, so I’m really pushing myself. I’m also working on finding a part time job for when you’re at Daddy’s.

You’re going to be two very soon, in less than a month. Mommy is working extra hard on your Vintage Carnival Birthday party. I hand stitched bean bags for games. I’m currently working on making your invitations from scratch. I even taught myself how to use fondant, so I can make your cake. I get way too excited. I just really love planning things.

Now let’s talk about you.

You’re perfect. I mean, pretty much absolutely perfect. Okay, you’re a little whiny and up my butt at times. And you can also sense when I really need to accomplish things in the kitchen, so you insist on me picking you up. I’m pretty sure it’s intentional. But that’s okay. You’re cute, so I’ll suffer.

Your favorite toys are currently Go! Go! Smart Wheels/Animals and train tracks. I love this, but also hate it. The only reason that I sometimes hate it is that you decide I NEED to set every single piece up for you repeatedly. The point of toys is for YOU to play with them, so that I can accomplish other tasks. Of course, I play with you all the time. But you insist it needs to be EVERY time.

Your favorite shows (you just started really watching tv) are Dinosaur Train, Chuggington, and Paw Patrol. Makes sense. You love trains and your world revolves around puppies.

Your favorite foods are probably pizza and sushi. You loooove pizza. Weird, because I don’t. I am incredibly pleased and impressed that you love sushi. Your favorite seems to be anything with raw tuna. Good boy. (;

Hmm, what else? You’re in a big boy bed now. Of course, you only sleep in it for half of the night, until you crawl into bed with me. Don’t worry, I don’t mind. I’m just happy you go to sleep in your own bed, even if you need your puppy pillow, a blankie, binky, cup, and cabbage patch doll to do it. Whatever works.

You talk so well now. I mean, for an almost two year old with a lisp (which is the cutest). You say pretty much everything. You’ve been speaking for a while, but within the past few months have been constantly picking up new words. Within the past week, you started saying “love you”, which may be my favorite thing you say. You can also name most of your plastic toy animals, which I find pretty impressive. You’re a smart kid, and I’m incredibly thankful for that.

There’s more I have to tell you, but I think I’ll wait.

Love you, Bub.

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Citrus Lane on Plum District for $7.20!

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Right now you can get a one month subscription to Citrus Lane on Plum District for only $7.20! This is the cheapest I’ve seen it in a while! Just head on over to Plum District and enter code “BABY20” at checkout. It will bring the cost from $9 down to just $7.20!

CLICK HERE to snag this deal!

Check out my Citrus Lane reviews HERE!

Box News! Julep & Citrus Lane

Sorry, whoever cares, for the lack of blogging on my part. The past month has been filled with birthdays & parties & holidays & other busy things! I plan to continue blogging as often as possible. Hopefully, the rest of the month will bring less craziness. So onto the latest happenings!

First off, HAPPY EASTER! Kayde, C, and I celebrated Kayde’s very first Easter today! I think it went well, although he is extra crabby today.

IN BOX NEWS:

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A few things going on with Julep. First, this month almost every box will feature the new Plie Wand. I’m pretty excited about this and so glad I re-subscribed. I’m HORRIBLE at painting my nails (Kayde could do better) so I have high hopes that this new tool may help me out a bit.

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The colors for this month are fresh spring colors, such as a pretty blue pastel and a gorgeous mint. The Plie Wand comes with all the basic polish boxes this month, but there are a few other options as well. Also, for May boxes, you get double jules! I switched my style from It Girl to Boho Glam this month. I also chose the Plie Creativity Kit as an add-on (also in hopes of bettering my nail painting abilities). Here’s a sneak peek of what I chose this month:

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Also in Julep news, the cost/options for your subscription will be changing beginning in June. Check out the details HERE!

To sign up/check out the box options for May CLICK HERE! Also, if you’re a new subscriber use the code “FREEBOX” to get your first box for free! You have to pay for shipping, but if you add $10 worth of merchandise to your cart, shipping is free!

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Head over to Citrus Lane and score your first box for $5! Yes, you read that right! FIVE DOLLARS! Just CLICK HERE and enter code “NEWMOM” at checkout. Besides that short-lived free box they did recently, this is the best deal I’ve seen since I joined. I HIGHLY recommend taking advantage of this deal if you haven’t signed up for CL yet. The cost of a monthly box is $29, so with this code you’ll be saving $24!

Check out my Citrus Lane reviews here.

April Citrus Lane Review – 24 Month Old

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Citrus Lane is a monthly subscription box that sends full size children’s products to your doorstep. They often include one mommy gift as well. The cost is $29 per month. Kayde has been getting CL boxes for about six months now. We love them and get so excited every month that they arrive at our doorstep. (i get more excited than Kayde, don’t judge.) Kayde got a few boxes this month using credits and because it was his birthday on the 3rd. This is the review for his box aged up a year, 24 months.

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First Look

 

WHAT’S INSIDE:

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~ Green Toys Tools & Things ($10.00) – The price is just an estimate based on the full set. The full set is $27.99 and includes twice the amount of tools plus a toolbox to store it all in. This set came with two screws and the little piece you screw it into, a saw, and two different screw drivers. It’s a really cute set and Kayde really loves the screw drivers. Of course, they’ve become another weapon for him.

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~ Green Eats Tumblers ($5.99) – Made from recycled milk jugs, these are a great first cup. It’ll be a while before Kayde uses a normal cup and we already have a few, so this wasn’t kept. I already traded it (along with my other set) for some Hape Qubes from last month and a Green Toys flower set. (:

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~ Barefoot Books The Prince’s Bedtime ($9.99) – This is a cute book about a Prince who refuses to go to sleep, despite the best efforts of everyone in the kingdom. It comes with a a storytime CD with two versions of the story.

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Mrs. Meyers Dish Soap ($1.00) – No idea how much the value of this is, as it’s only a sample size. Usually, I wouldn’t be thrilled about receiving soap. But I keep seeing other bloggers posting photos and raving about Mrs. Meyer’s grease fighting power, so I’m now hoarding all my samples of it from CL. I’ll let you know how I like it.

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Treat Greeting Card Offer ($3.49) – Free first greeting card from Treat. This will be great for personalized cards for holidays!

MY THOUGHTS: The total value for this box is $30.47. Barely over the cost of the box. But if you get a good deal on a box, it’s worth it, and I think the value of the items themselves are worth the full price. Product wise, this was a great box!

SIGN UP: Would you like to sign up for Citrus Lane and save $20 off your first box? Sign up here and enter the code “SPRING20″ at checkout. That means you only pay $9 for your first box!