Dear Kayde, Happy Birthday

Dear Kayde,

Today is your birthday. (Well, technically yesterday, I’m a little late. You’ll understand why.) Ahem… today is your birthday. The plan was for you to wake up with a floor covered in balloons for you to play with, eat a big birthday breakfast of eggs, hash, and sausage, get a few last minute things for your party on Saturday, then go out to Friendly’s with me and Daddy for dinner and presents. That is not at all how your birthday went.

Today, you woke up after a long sleepless night to a floor covered in balloons, but you had no interest in them. You layed in my lap, coughing, wheezing, and struggling to breathe. No breakfast, you’d barely take a bottle to keep you hydrated.

Mommy and Daddy were concerned. We didn’t want to wait until your one year checkup tomorrow, so at about ten-thirty in the morning we were off to the hospital. I tried feeding you a food pouch during our three hour wait to be seen, but you threw it up in the waiting room. Finally, shortly before the time you were born, they took us in and checked you out, which made you even more miserable. You got x-rays, which was not a pleasant experience, and we were informed you have pneumonia. My poor sick birthday boy.

How ironic that at 1:37 pm a year ago we were in a hospital, with you lying on my chest, the first moment I met you. And exactly one year later, we were again in a hospital, with you lying on my chest, the sickest you’ve ever been.

Instead of a birthday dinner, I opened your gifts for you to play with for only minutes at a time between whining fits snd frequent naps. And now you lay here in my lap.

And I think about the past year, your first year, and how you’ve made it the best of my life. You are the reason for my existence. You gave me purpose. You have grown and changed so much in just a year. You are so sweet, cuddly, strong, and smart. You make me laugh more than anyone ever has. You make me proud daily, and I feel truly sorry for every person that isn’t lucky enough to call you their son. You are the very best part of me.

Your very first birthday was one of your worst days, but it was still the best first birthday I’ve ever been a part of.

Because it was yours.

I love you, Bubby. ♡

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